Sobbing on a doorstep at 5 a.m.

Some days out here in Malawi are really $%*?ing tough.

I often wonder if I did the right thing taking "my dream job." I have wanted to work with jhr overseas for as long as I have known about them. I've been building my portfolio for this job. At 23 years old I know that I have achieved something that many are still dreaming of.

But I am sometimes unsure if it was right to leave my friends and family behind to make temporary relationships with people I will likely never see again. From this six-month contract I can only pray to do something beneficial for someone.

A couple of nights ago I hit a breaking point. After a night out on the town, my friend drove me home at 4:30 a.m. I was exhausted from dancing the night away and socializing with my new friends and all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and sleep.

As my friend drove away, I put the key into the door. Mysteriously, the key snapped in half - one section stuck in the keyhole, the other in my hand. I tried and tried again to pry the door open, tearing the skin of my thumb, but it was no use. Of course, moments later my phone died and the only person that was home was my landlord. Because I was getting home so late (or rather, early in the morning) I didn't think it was right to disturb him by banging on his bedroom window. So, I sat down on the pavement and cried. Nay, I sobbed.

The mangy dogs came over to comfort me and it was surprisingly nice until the little one started biting me. I pushed them away and continued to cry.

I missed everyone back home. I missed my family, my friends (who I hope will still want to hang out with me after my second stint to Africa) and most of all, I missed my fluffy, white duvet. There was nothing I could do at that point. I couldn't wander the streets to my friendly neighbours because I don't know them. I couldn't call anyone because my phone needed charging. All I could do was cry out the frustration that had been building up for weeks.

At 6 a.m. the landlord came to the door and had a good chuckle at how pathetic I was. To make matters worse, he had been awake for the past hour but didn't know I was curled up in a ball on the doorstep.

Apologizing through my sobs about breaking the key, I walked to my bedroom and collapsed on my bed. When I eventually woke up, the tears had dried on my cheeks. I washed them off (along with my pitiable demeanor), got dressed and sat down to do some work - one of many sources of frustration. But this is what I came here for... to work.

So, I will keep trekking - keeping in mind that it is important to have the occasional mental breakdown.